


will she

by aqakita



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 05:30:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14585988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqakita/pseuds/aqakita
Summary: Willam finds it hard to see Courtney with someone else. Alaska comforts her.





	will she

Things weren’t left on a particularly bad note, and to an extent, that made this situation a little rougher. Willam could feel her heart sinking when she heard Courtney’s laugh, and looked up to see her, a hand on Bianca’s knee, anchoring herself a little as the older woman made some cutting remark about Alaska, who simply drawled something sarcastic in response. She’d not even heard the comment, and quite frankly, she felt a bit too bitter to care. Bianca was funny; she was honest, and she was brutal, and until recently, Willam had loved spending time with her. They were a good match and a good laugh together.

The change came not after Willam and Courtney’s break up, but after Bianca and Courtney’s getting together. Admittedly, there was a tasteful amount of time left before it, a few months, and a questioning from the typically curt woman to make sure that it was okay. Willam, of course, said it was fine. And, at first, it was. In concept, it was, anyway. Part of her believed that it would end in rejection, and things would just be normal. She couldn’t have been more wrong, and that was how, now, she was staring down the new couple.

When they got together, she was certain that she was over her. She’d moved on, as much as she really needed to. Though she’d made no real attempt to move into another relationship, partly out of disinterest in the domesticity of settling down, she’d slept around a bit. That, to Willam, was enough for her. When she seen Courtney, as she did often, because they managed to maintain a friendship in the wake of the break up, she didn’t feel very much. Occasionally, she missed the littler things, like holding hands, like leaning on each other, like the taste of her lipstick on a kiss. Sometimes when she caught the scent of her perfume, her heart would still skip a beat.

But other than that, she was sure she was over her. After she gave Bianca the all clear, she didn’t think twice about it, until they were all together in person. In the lead up to this, she realized, the pair of them had been decently affectionate - or as affectionate as the ginger really allowed in public. She’d just glossed over it, ignored it, avoided it. However, presented with them in person, now an item, it was all she could see. Any small movement that they made toward each other was the sole focus of Willam’s attention. Any more major PDA (a kiss to the cheek, or worse, the lips) and she would make a snide comment about it.

No one thought anything about it, because it was Willam, and Willam always had something to say about everything. She was an opinion personified. She was a fierce, ruthless girl, who only really showed a soft spot for the people she cared deeply about, and even then, she was pain in the ass. For a moment, she considered that for that very reason, it was a good thing that Courtney had left her, because now she couldn’t bring her down. She wouldn’t have to put up with the teasing, and wouldn’t have to pick up the pieces when she got into unnecessary scraps because she couldn’t hold her tongue.

In a moment of ego, however, she compared herself to Bianca. They were alike in many ways. At face value, from the view of a stranger, they would both seem nasty. They were known as unpleasant people - funny, but unpleasant. People feared Bianca more, worried she would tear into them, decimating their confidence. She radiated with frost; she made an effort to be deeply unapproachable to strangers. When they first met, they butted heads almost constantly. When they first met, Alaska regretted introducing them. Then, when they started getting along, she, again, regretted introducing them.

Perhaps that was why Courtney was now wrapped around the callous queen’s finger. A substitute for the personality she spent so much time with, something to make up for not having Willam. Or maybe she had a type. Or maybe, underneath it all, when it came to love, Bianca was a sweetheart. She couldn’t bring herself to accept the latter. Courtney had to head off now, and in leaving, she pressed a light kiss to her girlfriend’s lips, before waving everyone else off. It felt like someone had tied knots around Willam’s chest; it felt like she would suffocate.

Soon after the perky blonde was gone, everyone else started leaving, and since it was Alaska’s house, that meant she had to get a move on. But as she went to go, the tall woman’s hand lingered on her shoulder.  
“Are you okay?” There was a concern there, a genuine one, but it made her bristle in response.  
“I’m fine,” She snapped, before looking away, “I’m fine, I’ll have to get used to it, one way or another.”  
“You said you were over her.”  
“I thought I was. I probably was. It just fucking stings that one of my good friends is now with her.”

The gangly woman sat Willam down again, staying near her on the couch, holding lightly onto her hands. She winced as the nails dug in, but knew better than to tell someone off when they were already distressed.  
“Vent it out. I’m not gonna judge you, and I’m not gonna tell her.”  
“I didn’t think it would work out, that’s why I said she could ask her. I thought she’d reject her. And it’s so fucking stupid, because I hoped she’d reject her because of me. Because it would be awkward, but she didn’t. And yeah, I don’t really care, deep down, that it’s Bianca. I’d feel equally pissed off it was you. But every time I see her, I see them, I keep thinking, ‘Does she do it better than I did?’, ‘Does she love you more than I did?’, ‘Does she treat you like the princess you are?’ and I get caught up in it. I know it’s not my business anymore, I don’t own her, but I feel like…”

Her grip relented when she heard a hiss of pain from Alaska, and she grumbled an apology quickly, instead pulling a throw cushion onto her lap and digging her long nails into that.  
“You just want what’s best for her.”  
“Exactly. Maybe I wasn’t that. Maybe I treated her like shit - I was as nice as I could be. I tried, you know? But I’m shitty to people without even noticing it sometimes. What if she does that to her too? Because Bianca known for being brutal.”  
“I can promise you, she won’t. Deep down, she’s a softie. She’ll take care of her. I know it’s hard, but Courtney is happy.”  
“I know…”  
“You’ll get over it. If you need to step out at any point, just signal to me, and we can go off and talk separate. You don’t have to sit there and watch them.”  
“Thanks.”

At some point in that, she’d got caught up in the rush of emotions, and now, she was wiping the smeared mascara off her cheeks, “I can’t believe I’m crying over a girl. What the fuck is wrong with me?”  
Alaska sneered, taking some tissues from the box on the table and offering them to her. Catching her breath, getting her head in line, Willam smiled a little. Talking had helped a bit. The wound was still open, but the salt was washed out.   
As she saw her to the door, the tall blonde offered, “If you need anything, just let me know. If you’re getting caught up in it at night, and you need somewhere to go, you can just come here.”  
“Thanks, ‘Laska.”


End file.
